After the Attack on the Capitol, My Husband Wants to Buy a Gun
To protect our multiracial family
News of the attack on the US Capitol building has weighed heavily on my family, particularly my typically even-keeled husband. He’s been glued to his phone, tracking updates on the situation. He started complaining about an ache in his jaw — a muscle that seems permanently tensed. He’d been carrying this weight in silence, not wanting to talk about it. When he finally opened up, our conversation disturbed me.
Last night in bed, he turned to me and said, “I have something I want to discuss with you.” His tone was so serious I was instantly alarmed.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I think we should get a gun.”
“What?”
“I need to protect our family. What if there’s a civil war? What if the right-wing extremists attack our house? I have a brown wife and a brown child. I need to keep you both safe.”
I was conflicted. Part of me thought, What kind of white guy nonsense is this? Why do you have to feel so insecure that you turn everything into an arms race? Another part of me thought, I know it’s because you love us so much and are scared of losing us. The “this is nonsense” voice was louder.
