Hi Joe,

No ripping apart here! I think you make an important point about expectations about attractiveness for men being exclusive and unfair as well. I'm certainly not immune to societal and cultural influences, so I take accountability for that. I was definitely very small-minded, particularly in high school and college.

In terms of your understanding of the story, I'm wondering if you skimmed the essay? You're missing quite a few details and seem to focus only on the first few paragraphs where I share my experience of having a crush on white jocks from high school.

If you read through carefully, I hope you'll see how my preferences have changed and evolved over time. For example, you'll notice that I describe my husband as short and nerdy, so it's fair to say I found the love of my life when I let go of such rigid standards and opened my eyes to what was in front of me. If you take another read and that's still not clear, please let me know and I'll see if I can make that arch more apparent.

In any case, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. The dating world is rough and I hope when we see beyond our preconceived notions it can be kinder to all of us.

Sincerely,

Shanna