You Can Be Gentle and a Little Rough Around the Edges

Gentleness is not just for Mister Rogers

Photo by Hichem Dahmani on Unsplash

Despite the fact I’ve enjoyed learning about gentleness through my friend Bingz’s work, I’ve hesitated to contribute to her Gentleness Ambassadors publication myself until now. Why? I don’t know if I’m gentle. Or maybe I am gentle, but not enough.

There is a side to me that is cutting and judgmental. I don’t maintain a Zen-like state at all times. As much as I want to be like the saintly sister in Little Women who (spoiler alert!) dies, I’m more like Jo the main character who occasionally throws temper tantrums when things don’t go her way. I’m flawed. I don’t want to portray myself as a paragon of gentleness when I can be rough with myself and others.

For instance, I’m co-editor of Age of Empathy on Medium. Yesterday when asked by a fellow editor to give my opinion on a recent submission, I replied, “It’s vague gobbledegook.” A gentler, more empathic person might have said something like, “I understand where she’s coming from and she needs to add more detail.” But no, the voice in my head and one I used as I typed into Facebook Messenger was firm and decisive: This article sucks.

For those of you who put any stake in the Myers–Briggs (and for those of you who think it’s Goop-level pseudo-scientific malarkey…